Mental Health and Wellness · Uncategorized

Honoring Adlin: The loss of my friend to Covid-19

 

heartbroken

I haven’t posted in quite a while because I wasn’t inspired to write anything for some time. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve drafted many pieces, but today something happened that I not only wanted to write about but I NEEDED to. You see, as a healthcare professional in NYC of all places, I’ve been in the thick of this unthinkable pandemic since it’s onset in America.

It’s actually been more mentally draining than physically and up until today, I almost got used to this scared, anxiety ridden, waiting for the other shoe to drop existence. I would walk into work on the first day of every week filled with dread, thinking, which one of the people that I work with everyday is gonna turn up sick now?!?! Then today, 04/24/20, as I myself was out sick, laying at home in bed, my manager called with news about our coworker and beloved friend Adlin.

She was diagnosed with Covid-19 on Monday, April 20th, 2020 and we all were hopeful that she was on the mend. I listened intently on the other end as our manager said to me “Nicky, Adlin passed away”. Clearly, she was wrong, so I asked her to repeat and she said it again. I panicked but hung up anxious to clear the confusion and obviously prove her wrong, so I quickly called Adlin to clear things up because two days ago, we spoke, she told me she was getting better and I believed her. I just knew, deep down in my heart that if anyone was gonna win the battle against this virus, it would be her. Because if she was nothing else, she was a fighter. 

It was weird though, because she didn’t answer. She always answers my calls. So I hung up and that’s when the calls started rolling in, from shattered friends and fellow coworkers, who, just like me, were graced with the light that was Adlin Thompson.
Just saying her name makes me happy. With any death, I think your mind makes you think of all the things you didn’t do, all the things you think that you did wrong, and the missed opportunities with that person. It’s almost like I want to be engulfed by the pain, like I somehow feel like I deserve to feel this way. I know she was a happy person, optimistic to a fault, and she would want us all to be happy. But with her light gone from this earth, it’s hard to find the bright side right now. It’s fresh, it hurts, it’s raw. I’m in pain, so much pain. God, if you knew Adlin you were lucky, she would ask us all to stop crying, to stop worrying about her, to stop fussing and to celebrate her life. To live because she lived.

She really lived, and I find solace in that. Her motto was “I have one life to live” and she literally let that guide her. She tragically lost her young daughter a few years ago and that changed the way she lived, there was always underlying sadness but she truly lived a life of service, love, and celebration afterwards.

She celebrated everyone and everything, and we will celebrate HER. I’ll be forever changed by this, and I will let the way she lived be my guide. I will take her advice and I will honor her legacy, I will not take those I love for granted and I will truly LIVE.
In the days leading up to her leaving us, we were all in constant contact with her, and she rarely let on her true state. Our hospital is one of the best, we could’ve gotten her the best care, but till the very end, she still remained optimistic. She was isolated, and quarantined, how were we to truly know? Yet, there is still a level of guilt. Did we do enough, what if we insisted she go to the ER, what if we sent an ambulance against her wishes, what if we forced her to seek further help. What if???!!!

So many what ifs. But for now, there’s only tears. I will grieve and I will mourn, I will never forget her and work will never be the same again, but I will live my one and only life like she did, because in the blink of an eye, we can be gone from this world forever.

Covid Sucks

RIP Sweet Adlin

You made this world a better place

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s